Stewardship

The weather is getting colder which means runny noses and coughing have become the norm around here- between M's work schedule and all 4 of us being sick at different times, we haven't made it to church in weeks.  We almost didn't make it yesterday since I forgot my ration card when I went to buy coffee at the commissary the other day.  So my morning was gloomy and hateful, not the way I like to start Sundays.  Growing up, I generally remember my home being cheerful on Sunday mornings, my mom always (and still does) greeted us with a smile that says "I love you so much, let me give you a hug and make you feel all warm and fuzzy in the way only I can", and its nice. There was always music playing (usually Michael W. Smith or Steven Curtis Chapman.  Anyone?  Anyone?).  And even though some of those songs drove me nuts ("if friends are friends forever.....") it impressed upon me what a Sunday morning should be, happy, exciting, celebratory.  I put a lot of pressure on myself to pass these things down to my own kids, especially that smile and amazing hug that moms should give their babies in the morning.  Sunday mornings are difficult enough without that pressure,  I usually stay up too late the night before because M and I don't get to spend much time together.  Being over-tired and without coffee while getting myself and everyone else awake and ready by 10:30 takes tons of effort.  But, as usual, I was reminded yesterday why its worth all the trouble.

The sermon was about stewardship, and in part, how stewardship is different from servanthood.  Having become a Christian at a young age, I have grown up hearing these words.  I know I'm not going to be able to put everything into this post that I want to, nap times only last so long.  Our pastor gave several different definitions of a steward, one was someone who actively directs affairs or a manager.  Being a wife and a mother is all about stewardship and servanthood.  Right now, my life is devoted entirely to my family, there is little room for self.  That can be difficult going from having no kids and being ABLE to be selfish with my time, to having almost no time for myself.  I am leaning that with these jobs, you can not have a divided heart.  Struggling to be selfish with my time leaves me feeling resentful, not fully accepting the responsibility leaves me feeling angry.  When my kids are awake, I need to stop doing what I want to do (mainly sleeping), I need to be a good steward of what God has given me. (And yes, I know mothers still need time away and time for themselves, I'm not saying otherwise.)  This isn't a new revelation for me, just something I have been thinking about and our pastor hit on it yesterday.

I started a bible study with a few other ladies and of course the first week was literally titled "Leave your Country".  With all of my struggling lately, I can't think of a better lesson.  It is a study on Genesis, so its about Abraham, the Israelites and fear.  Fear of being led out of the country they knew to a place where God had called them.  This topic also came up in the sermon yesterday which makes me think someone is trying to get this lesson thru my head.  I was reminded, God never calls us TO someplace he is not providing.  And as a child of the Lord, he is always providing.  Someone else recently told me, the reason she thinks we are called overseas is because God wants us to rely completely on him.  Which makes sense to me, having been totally isolated and literally having no one else to talk to during the last 4 months.  This has already been a growing experience.  Since we have been here, I have been totally broken.  Even though it hurts, it's not necessarily a bad thing, when you pray to be closer to God to know him better and to have a more real relationship- I think he will break you if that is what it takes and I'm pretty sure that is what's happening here.  It's easy to be insincere if life is easy and comfortable...

S and P are doing great.  P will stand-up on her own all the time which has me thinking she'll be walking in no time at all.  The look on her face is absolutely amazing when she stands-up, she is so proud of herself (mommy and daddy are pretty proud of her too).  S is giving lots of kisses and wants us to hold her hands and walk with her when she sees her sissy standing up.  She is still loving putting her own headbands and hats on.  Both P and S love mango juice, watching Little Bear and pulling every single item off of the pantry shelves :)  M is doing alright, he has been working long hours and wishing the weekends were longer.    

And here is a random picture of my birdhouse, mainly because I love this birdhouse but also, because I feel weird making a blog post without photos.  Enjoy.